Last week I put myself in a situation that brought back the harsh reality of a fear I’ve had for as long as I can remember – heights. It made me think back on living with this fear and how it’s affected my travels through the years, because it certainly has, but also how it may affect my travels in the future, because it certainly will.
I’ve tried not to let this phobia hold me back from going where I want to go and doing what I want to do. But every once in awhile it has other ideas. I’ve always wanted to go zip lining in Costa Rica. While it seems easy peasy here in the comfort of my home, I just don’t know if that’s a reality for me. As silly as it sounds, I’d love to take a ride on the London Eye but I’d rather not do it alone – anyone want to go? Roller Coasters are no problem for me, in fact, I love them. Same with airplanes, I usually request a window seat. On the other hand, I think a ski lift would be sheer torture. Hiking down mountains has always been a challenge. There is nothing logical or rational about phobias. That’s what makes them so difficult for your fearless friends and family to understand.
The moment I realized I had this fear, I was in a very public tourist attraction. Scratch that, I was at the top of a very public tourist attraction. It was my brother’s birthday, probably 7th or 8th, and he wanted to go to the Statue of Liberty. Great! I was so excited until I heard we could only go to the crown. What? Why couldn’t we go up to the torch? It seemed terribly unfair and somehow cheating to only go to the crown. If you only went to the crown, did you really climb the statue at all?
I rallied though and as the day approached my enthusiasm returned. It would still be cool, right? If nothing else, it was an adventure and even at that young age, any day “out on the town” was a good day in my opinion. When we got to the island we joined the throngs heading for the statue and made our way up the pedestal – which is basically a slow climb up a stairwell crowded with people. So, boring. You can skip this step and take an elevator to the top of the pedestal if you’re so inclined. Either way, once you reach the top, there’s an observation deck so you can take a little break, enjoy the view.
Then came the fun part – climbing the body of the statue! As I remember it, a long, steep spiral staircase set in the middle of the body takes you to the top. Beyond the staircase is openness on either side. So cool! 354 steps later, you reach the crown. Once at the peak, you have a few minutes to peek at the world outside then you head to an identical steep spiral staircase down. Or, you reach the top of that staircase and freeze, unable to catch your breath, panic seizing your body. Not the ideal time to discover you have a fear of heights – a never ending line of annoyed people behind you, waiting for you to move.
Well, as you probably have surmised, I made it back down to solid ground safely, thanks to dad. Thinking about it now makes me wistful for the young girl who was determined to climb to the torch. Oh, the innocence she had. Yet to realize the cruel reality of life. To this day, whenever I spot the statue lurking behind a building, I’m still a little frightened by her imposing frame.
These little challenges pop up all the time while traveling. I once bought a ticket for a US Open tennis match. I got a seat near the top of the stadium not realizing how steep it was. As I approached the section and looked up, I realized the error of my ways. It took me a few attempts and a lot of determination to make it up to my seat – because damnit I paid for that seat!
The first time I visited Florence, I did the climb up the Duomo. I got to the last section with the old, crooked and crumbling staircase and I froze. I just knew it wasn’t going to happen. I was just going to have to be content with peering out the little, tiny window from the landing I was on until my traveling companion descended from the top. After seeing the view, he insisted I go to the top and I am so glad he did. He led me up that decrepit staircase ever so slowly one step at a time and, let me tell you, it was all worth the effort. The spectacular Tuscan landscape took my breath away.
Over the years I’ve learned that there are some things I’m just not going to be able to do, and while it may feel frustrating at the time, it’s okay. If, like me, you’re able to fight through the fear from time to time, the results are more rewarding than you can imagine. Not only for the once in a lifetime experience you get and the memories you’ll have for a lifetime but because to experience this joy, you faced your fear head on.
Any of you find yourselves in tricky situations because of a phobia? Any (hopefully) amusing stories? Leave a comment! Until next time – cheers!
Adventures of a New Yorker traveling the world.
Adventures of a New Yorker traveling the world.
